Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
