She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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