You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Randomize
