I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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