He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
