sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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