and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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