He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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