Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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