she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
