I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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