there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
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