"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
