So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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