no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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