tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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