u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Is Oprah even human
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
