No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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