I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize