It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize
