billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
