I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
