I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
