stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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