Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's shark week go big or go home
he just fucked me for my cheese.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
