This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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