i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
