You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
