There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
