pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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