Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
