Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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