I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Found your dick twin last night
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
