they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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