My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
