so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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