sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The air was thick with penises
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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