Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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