I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i dont even know how to be here
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
