we have officially lost it.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
