Umm I'm too high to move.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
