Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
