when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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