yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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