So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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