I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
