he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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