The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
