i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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