NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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