Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
