And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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