lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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