i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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