it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
