Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
