Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Dear god my vagina.
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