Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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