As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
