Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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