Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize