And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
