Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
