It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
