it wasn't lemon gatorade
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
