i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
