He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
