Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
