I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
