Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
